I love you, Stranger.

I feel soooo happy tonight and am still unwilling to go to bed to end this wonderful night.
How i wish such happiness can be a standstill and never go away.
Every single moment is as beautiful as every single note dancing gracefully in Chopin's nocturnes. (yea, it's because of all of you, young people :))
No worries. No rushing around. No stressing about stress.
So in peace with myself.=)
W.O.N.D.E.R.F.U.L

***** *****
Baked some brownies.
Although it's kinda failed, but memory that searched back to the time when the 3 Ng-rascals spending time together until late midnight just to bake some CNY bisicuits, is indeed a tender way of relieving my recently stirred-up homesickness.
(Oh for years, my parents rarely need to buy any biscuits as we pretty insisted on baking those ourselves.)
It has become some kind of 'tradition' that runs in my family every year.
And now, it is a point of remisniscence of mine.
Every single piece of such memory remains fresh and vivid.
As if, it just happened and passed by yesterday.
As if.

***** ******
The Me in me is a long-lost stranger tonight.
But somehow,
I love you, Stranger.

Trivia

Was so sleepy and nearly dozed off during morning lectures. Luckily Dr Leak is kind enough to not fling his marker pen towards me. Heeeeee! But seriously need to tame this stubborn body clock or Im just gonna get completely blank everyday like this.

CNY CNY CNY!!! This will probably be my last year to celebrate CNY in London! I just can't wait to go back home, get ang pau from parents, 拜天宫 (a CNY eve praying ceremony) and immerse myself in the truly exotic CNY atmosphere (firecrackers!! Hehehe, Im acting like a 10-year-old i know =P). How i miss mommy's pineapple tarts, sea cucumber&mushroom hotchpotch, daddy's chao mien and lotsa lotsa my favourite dishes. Awhhh...

It was so funny last night. Shi Chian, ren yin and I were initially playing CNY songs on youtube and chatting over how we celebrated CNY back home. There was suddenly a complete silence when everyone fell into own reminiscence of the good old times and only CNY songs were wafting in the air. It was like some kind of Petronas CNY advertisement, which these 3 'Si-tenggang' were upset as they couldn't make their homecoming for the festive season. Hahaha!

Anyway, Im sure we are still gonna have a super kickass celebration here despite the absence of family members. Nonetheless, this empty space in heart will still be filled as our love will never be parted by distance and time.

(Mommy&Daddy!!! I want a super super super super big ang pau next year!!! Hehehehe!)

Lalala. =)

I wanna get all these done!

Chinese New Year is approaching! Final exams are coming in less than 4 months! I am graduating in less than 6 months and yet I still have so many undone items on my to-do-list! Ok, let me jot them down and try to get them all checked & done in this brand new year!!!

Here it goes ...

1. Must realise my dream to travel alone in at least one country. All on my own!
2. Visit the Lavender Field in Provence, France. This coming June maybe?
3. Attend Art Festival in Edinburgh in the Summer.
4. Finish reading The Kite Runner - not another book to collect dust plsss!
5. Catch a glimpse of Auguste Rodin's sculpture - The Kiss - at Rodin museum, Paris.
6. Start on a new book after The Kite Runner - Empress Orchid, perhaps?
7. I wanna read all the good books in the world (yea i miss my chinese storybooks) and re-read my long-lost repertoire of poems!

Oh dear, I seriously need a gap year! Have been sooo drowned in science journals, academic books and they are simply taking away my soul, turning me into a mud - left only a robotic brain machine to grind all these info into little indisgestible pieces of trash to be regurgitated in the exam hall. Ugh. I can't stomach this for more than 6 months. Enough is enough.

I am dreaming of you every night, my dear lavender field ...

梦想

周末假期除外，平时我就喜欢趁吃饭时间随便开着youtube来炒high用餐时间。 这学年开始，《大学生了没》就成为了我的‘餐伴’。其具知识性又不失幽默的节目论题，也曾让我对人生做较深一层的正面思考。当然，并非每个论题都是我的心头好，譬如有几期讨论如何美肌护肤变出双眼皮叫你变帅变美的话题就被我当掉了。呵呵～明白为什么笔者现在还是丑小鸭一个了吧？

言归正传。节目里我最欣赏的就是被大家称之为神的尹傑。这个男生有突出见解及有别于别人一贯的思考方式，字字一针见血，理智得来不失大体，果真有神之风范。每当他开启连珠炮似的说话方式，我会觉得一股溪流穿过浑水般的清凉，而这股清凉就来自于说者的智慧与理性。

看过尹傑xuite网誌中一片叫《我的梦想好逊》的文章。里面写的是他的梦想-- 一个被旁人看来算是渺小、甚至是‘逊色’的小梦想。而小梦想里涵盖的却是一个很踏实的计划，很靠近甚至能捉着幸福的蓝图；而不是那种要发很久、很远、很长的大梦，实现了却不知道还有没有命去享受的东西。尤其喜欢这句：‘……從小我就不喜歡發大夢，每次都把計劃定的保守合理，從來不會畫個大餅再來細數完成百分比，我總是計劃著"能夠去做的事"……’。在短暂的人生里，保守估计也许对别人来说是种懦弱的行为，但对我而言，可以在还能掌握的有限时间里头去真正实现一些能看得见、摸得见的快乐，是对人生最完整的一种交代了。当然，我并不是说发大梦、做大事是挥霍生命，只是在大梦实现之前，幸福与快乐的体验是否已融入生命里，确是该被加进考量的因素之一。

人因梦想而伟大。这句话隐藏的真理，我毫无异议。但梦想的价值是否已被单一化、或用来衡量梦想大小的那把尺，到底是出于自己心里还是周人的眼光，实在需要加以关注。至于梦想价值的单一化，我指的是你到底梦的是由自身的执着、兴趣与热诚而编成的梦想，还是梦着别人想要你变成的那种爱光环却不问自己要什么的盲苍蝇。很多人，包括笔者，从小被父母灌输的价值观就是非念书不可，念不成书就不成大器；到了社会，周人有形抑或无形的压力逼着你要努力赚钱，不浪费时间、要努力工作、要跟得上潮流、跟得上品牌、跟得上风。就这样，大家都找不到心里的那把最初最原始‘我要我自己决定我的人生’的声音。脑里、耳边响起的都是‘你要这样、我一定要像他那样……’的吵杂喧闹。大家都变成大家，一群只能在喧闹中嘻哈，却经不起绚烂后落寞的灵魂。

最后，希望大家，当然包括我自己，能像尹傑写的：‘人生很短暫，只希望每分每秒做的都是自己最快樂、想做的事’—做自己喜欢，能使自己快乐的事。在短暂的人生里做实现一个个小梦想，累积成恒久的大大快乐。且让我用星云法师的《心声》作为结尾与大家共勉之。

听心声/听雨声/听自己的心声
听车声/听人声/听自己的心声

独处内观 /何方听听自己的心声
我拥有外在世界 /我拥有内在十方
任心起灭 /迁流不息

*心声/听自己的心声
红尘万丈我有一池清凉
寰宇之间我心安然自在