Roommie and I had a late night out with SW and her bf (it was supposed to be my belated bday celebration anyway). Had a bit of girls' talk (haha could have chatted more if her bf wasn't around!), not unexpectedly, the 'IN' topic like getting married and what not were brought up as one of the girls think that guys are rather inconsiderate to have always been wanting to get married after the age of 30. Notion was that biological clock of woman can't really wait and late marriage makes a woman vulnerable to lotsa aftermath illnesses; and why the male species always see money money as a measure of waiting duration to marriage, not acknowledging the fact that money can be saved together after marriage.I was like hmm........ well..... hahaha experiencing a total blackout of thoughts.
Well personally, for a while, I used to hate marriage and can't see myself sacrificing as much as my parents did (and still doing!) to build a family. I was kind of hippy, I worshipped total freedom and no financial restriction due to any sort of attachments .' 游戏人间' aptly described my aim of life. However, things kinda changed when i met him. The urge to settle down has become so intense as time goes by. Perhaps Im tired of living alone, doing things alone, watching movie alone, and the most dreadful emptiness at night after a long day of work-attack. At times, I do feel upset knowing there's a long way to go before our marriage takes place, sharing the same reasons metioned above.
But sometimes when i looked back at dreams I used to have, my heart started to grow wild. There is a voice within calling me to step out from the mundane study-work-marriage life and don't fall as a prey of money when all sort of responsibilities starts to kick in after marriage. My hippiness calls me a silly donkey for wanting to end my 'bachelorship' so soon and not spending enough money on myself, not travelling to more n more countries, not spending more private moments with the hot date im with now.
So in a way, I do envy those who can see marriage in the very near future because I can't and I don't want to argue over such an issue - and in another way, I still need a very strong assurance that going down such a path worth all the while. Haha.
P.S. Life is a puzzle that one would spend a lifetime to complete, not realizing he'll never ever be able to see the whole picture till his last breath.
